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imagiNed Conceptual Artistry

for entertainment and edification by Ned Buratovich

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Smartsy-Artsy Portrait Gallery

imagiNed Conceptual Artistry Posted: July 23, 2020 Categories:

Crystal sphere resting on wet rock reflecting an inverted orange and gray twilight sky. Overlaid text says: HAPPY 24 HOURS MAKES AN EARTH DAY

Against a goldenrod background, a cartoon bee, striped body, stinger tail, veined wings, aerobics ankle warmers, nice eyes and a calm, contented smile.

A silhouetted figure stands atop a hundred-foot tall rocky spire overlooking a rugged coastline fading off into the hazy distance. Overlaid with text saying, "A spire to get higher."

Inside a multi-colored mandala, a man's cartoon figure sits in the classic Padmasana (Lotus Pose) except he's upside down, balancing on his head.

A silver SUV has its front tire airborne as it off-roads through a rocky canyon floor.

A statue of "Buddy Christ" is displayed in the heavens next to a Chrysler minivan.

The word, "RESISTANCE" arcs over the electrical symbol for OHM, the capital Greek letter omega, Ω. Below that, the words "NO RESISTANCE" arc over the ancient Sanskrit ideogram for OM, ॐ.

Ned Buratovich stands in the nave of a church with its soaring vaulted ceilings reflected in the shape of the twin tablets he holds, inscribed with the words: BE TRUE - BE KIND.

A single white lotus flower with pink-tinged petals stands out against a background of very dark green leaves.

An extended hand almost touches its shadow on a sun-drenched wall.

Case of spray-paint cans in various shades of blue.

Over folds of deep red satin sits a 3-D stylized heart, also deep red, with a drop of blood hanging from it. An overlay of deep-red text says ALL YOU BLEED IS LOVE

Three part cartoon graphic showing sun brightly beaming, dark clouds raining, verdant forest growing.

Introducing TEMPERAMINTS in two flavors is the byline, with images of two candy tins in the style of Altoids mints, but with the labels modified to say: DISCOURAGEMINTS and ENCOURAGEMINTS.

Young, well-groomed bearded man in a fashion suit wearing a name tag saying: HELLO MY NAME IS BLURRY. The letters for "blurry" are themselves very blurred. The text around the young man's intensely gazing eyes says: YOU JUST NEED TO FOCUS.

A cartoon-style monkey face is superimposed over a monkey pox skin blotch.

Against a red stage curtain, comedian Ned Buratovich holds a microphone. The legend above his head proclaims: CRUELTY-FREE* COMEDIAN. The asterisked note to the side reads: not tested on animals.

Dollar bills folded into a box shape with words, "Think Outside the Bucks" around the box.

Book cover (mimicking the "Fifty Shades of Grey" cover) with a green necktie and a pattern of tiny dollar signs. In large text, the title "Fifty Grades of Pay," in smaller text, the subtitle "The true obscenity of women subjugated by income inequity"

A wooden sign saying, "ISO-O-LATION SALOON - COLDEST BEER IN TOWN" hangs on a brick wall, upon which is spray painted, "in the freezer, next to the vaccines."

A red thread pulls out from woven fabric. The text says, "Threads of truth, when pulled skillfully, will unravel a tapestry of lies."

A black and white illustration of a checkerboard with text on each square saying TRUE or FALSE. Text title says FACT CHECKER BOARD.

Two smiley faces, one harshly menacing, the other, gleeful, adjacent to the words: totalitarian takeover disguised as pandemic response.

A weathered, painted wooden heart lies broken in two pieces.

Text messages on cell phone. First message asks, "How are things going?" Response is a line of dashes. Third message asks, "What are all those dashes?" Response is "My hopes."

A crudely drawn face, where the facial features are phrases. The two eyes are the two words GOING and CRAZY. The diminutive nose is the phrase, BIT-BY-BIT. The smiling mouth is the sentence: IT'S INCREMENTAL ILLNESS

A color photo of the planet, Jupiter, encircled by the words: Jupiter has a spot for you.

Close up photo of a doobie (marijuana joint) being passed between two sets of fingertips.

Best Foods Mayonnaise jar with label altered to read: MAYO NASAL - BLOW OUT THE BEST - S'NOT - MAYONNAISE, mimicking the original fonts, colors.

Two photos of a woman taking a selfie with her cell phone. In top photo, her face is replaced by a fresh apricot. In bottom photo, her face is replaced by a dried apricot.

A pumpkin-colored Amanita muscaria mushroom is larger than the human hand pictured next to it.

A couple at an art gallery before an artwork showing Rodin's "The Thinker" squatting in a stack of cardboard boxes. The legend on the artwork reads, THINKER INSIDE THE BOX. Beneath the couple, a line of dialog reads: Looks like he's taking a dump in there.

Image of book cover with title, "How Auto-Correct Made Me a Best-Spelling Author" and image of Ned Buratovich holding up cardboard sign saying, NO MOAR MISTEAKS

A gold and white Venetian face mask wearing a red jester's cap and bells, with the seven bells replaced by shiny red hearts. The top text reads: LOVE A FOOL. The bottom text reads: FOLLY-AMORY

The word, EMPATHY, flows within a stack of wavy lines, without cutting into the contour. The word, APATHY, droops across a stack of straight lines, cutting through several of them.

In the background, leafless trees shrouded by a dank winter fog. In the foreground, a bucket on a chain atop a moss-encrusted wellhead. The text overlay reads: How deep is your unwell?

Jungle vegetation encircles two sloths draped over a branch. The words: LETHARGY IN ACTION also encircle the sloths.

A fifty foot tall liquid amber tree stands off in the distance, bottom half shaded, top half in bright sunlight. In the foreground, a man leans into the frame, his hand at his chin, as if pondering. Back in the distance, the same man is seen standing underneath the tree, next to its trunk.

A blue bird perched up on a branch shoots a stream of blue poop on to the blue tinted head of Ned Buratovich.

Photo of teacher with student with pun/joke text below.

Dental marketing postcard with close up photo of clean-cut young family, daughter, father and mother, but dad is missing a front tooth.

Two-headed, S-shaped, chartreuse serpent wound around two gold bars to create the shape of a typographical dollar sign.

A golden caduceus with a gold coin atop the wings and snakes around the staff in the shape of dollar signs stands out against a darkened background of hundreds of colorful pill capsules

Cute cartoon drawing of a devil. Text above says: NOT TODAY SATAN. Text below says: MAYBE LATER TONIGHT

Photo of spacious, nicely appointed master bedroom juxtaposed with photo of cramped, crypt-like room.

A flying saucer hovers over an isolated home in the hills, illuminating the area with a cone of light.

A dimly-lit gray-scale graphic with two large emojis, one above the other. The top emoji is the "alarm" expression, with the phrase "ARMAGEDDON?" arcing over the top; the lower emoji is the "glee" expression, with the phrase "IMMA-GETTA-GUN!" arcing underneath it.

Photo of fireman, backlit by a conflagration, overlaid with text: Firemen will rush into an inferno to rescue a brother fireman, while leaving equipment behind to burn. That's the true origin of the phrase: Bros before hose.

A collage of seven garden sculpture suns, photographed separately, then juxtaposed against a dark blue background.

Imagine a circle: at eleven o'clock the phrase, "Dance is Romance," arcs across the top. At eight o'clock and two o'clock are two silhouettes. At eight o'clock stands a long-haired woman in a wide-stance back bend, arms extended gracefully above and behind. From the two o'clock position leaps a lithe male dancer, airborne in a bent-leg ballet jete, arms also extended, in front and behind . Between the two silhouettes stretches the word, ~ between ~. The words, "Space and Time," bend beneath like a chair-rocker at five of the clock to complete the circuit. This circle of expression floats against a backdrop of mist and above a mist-drenched, tiled courtyard receding in visibility. In the foreground, a glistening cobblestone carriageway frames a stone pedestal planter with a dense spray of pale red blossoms, the only color in this mist (and mystery?) shrouded image.

Illustration showing three crosses extending far above a globe (a coronavirus molecule) set against a background of a darkened sky above a moonlit ocean.

A black-background postcard with words (in small text size) "A WORLD OF HURT NEEEDS" then the word (in huge text size) "LESS" then the word (in medium text size) "OXYCONTIN" then the word (in huge text size) "MORE" then the word (in medium text size) "OXYTOCIN" The phrase and each word are on their own lines with text sized to make all five lines equal width.

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