Welcome to the Hotel Paranoia
A parody rewrite of the Eagles’ 1977 hit song, Hotel California, relevant to the current times of COVID-19, the catastrophic pandemic response and the media’s systematic force-feeding of fear.
HOTEL PARANOIA
(the rewrite)
On the great reset highway, fools’ words in my ear
Warm smell of infection, rising up through the fear
Up ahead in the future, I saw a frightening sight
My health grew heavy and my rights grew dim
I got locked down for the night
“Show passports at the doorway,”
I heard the armed guards tell
And I was thinking to myself,
“This could be Heaven or this could be Hell”
Then they brought out the needles and they boosted away
There were voices from the monitor,
I thought I heard them say…
Welcome to the Hotel Paranoia
Such an ugly place (Such an ugly place)
So just mask your face
Plenty of doom at the Hotel Paranoia
Any kind of fear (Any kind of fear)
You can find it here
The news is definitely twisted toward propagandic ends
They got a lot of pretty newsman boys they call friends
How they lie in the courthouse, hyping the threat.
Some lie to remember, some lie to forget
So I called up the doctor,
“Please help me feel fine”
He said, “We haven’t showed that spirit here since nineteen twenty nine”
And so our choice is falling so far away,
Taken out in the middle of the night
Then you hear them say…
Welcome to the Hotel Paranoia
Such an ugly place (Such an ugly place)
So just mask your face
The living will die at the Hotel Paranoia
What a big surprise (not a nice surprise)
Right before your eyes.
Fear’s up to the ceiling,
They keep vaccine on ice
“Sure,” we said, “we are all just listeners here, on our own device”
And in Big Pharma’s boardrooms,
They gathered for the feast
They profit from our sickly lives
And they just can’t care the least
Last thing I remember, I was
Lying on the floor
I couldn’t get the message back
To the way it was before
“React,” said the fright man,
“We are programmed to deceive.
You can fact check any time you like,
But you will not believe.”
Rewritten song lyrics by imagiNed.com
HOTEL CALIFORNIA
(the original)
On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of colitas, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I had to stop for the night
There she stood in the doorway;
I heard the mission bell
And I was thinking to myself,
“This could be Heaven or this could be Hell”
Then she lit up a candle and she showed me the way
There were voices down the corridor,
I thought I heard them say…
Welcome to the Hotel California
Such a lovely place (Such a lovely place)
Such a lovely face
Plenty of room at the Hotel California
Any time of year (Any time of year)
You can find it here
Her mind is Tiffany-twisted, she got the Mercedes bends
She got a lot of pretty, pretty boys she calls friends
How they dance in the courtyard, sweet summer sweat.
Some dance to remember, some dance to forget
So I called up the Captain,
“Please bring me my wine”
He said, “We haven’t had that spirit here since nineteen sixty nine”
And still those voices are calling from far away,
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say…
Welcome to the Hotel California
Such a lovely place (Such a lovely place)
Such a lovely face
They livin’ it up at the Hotel California
What a nice surprise (what a nice surprise)
Bring your alibis
Mirrors on the ceiling,
The pink champagne on ice
And she said “We are all just prisoners here, of our own device”
And in the master’s chambers,
They gathered for the feast
They stab it with their steely knives,
But they just can’t kill the beast
Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before
“Relax, ” said the night man,
“We are programmed to receive.
You can check-out any time you like,
But you can never leave! “
Original song lyrics by Don Henley and Glenn Frey
Side-by-side song lyrics available as one-page PDF here:
Hotel Paranoia Music Video
(An on-screen lyric video with singing over a Hotel California karaoke track.)
This recording serves as a proof of concept demo to get the lyrics shared. Please send this video link (https://vimeo.com/661691627/3a607e4dd1) to anyone who might enjoy and share this version.
So here’s the hope of my wildest imagiNed imagination:
The Eagles have planned a huge Hotel California tour for 2022. Such a lovely place for them to showcase these updated lyrics for their classic song. As more prominent musicians perform this version, perhaps it will come to the attention of the Eagles themselves and they will add it to their tour set list.
Explosion of Exposure
July 17, 2022 Update
Maybe my fantasy of having a famed musician record Hotel Paranoia is not so far fetched. There is the tiniest sliver of a chance that Hotel Paranoia may come to the attention of Eric Clapton.
Because this happened:
Dr. Robert Malone (inventor of mRNA vaccination technology, turned whistleblower over safety concerns) chose the Hotel Paranoia video to headline his Sunday Strip, https://rwmalonemd.substack.com/p/sunday-strip-467, with this commentary:
A special shoutout to Mr. Ned Buratovich, who posts at imagiNed.com, for this absolutely dead-on brilliant Karaoke parody of the infamous Eagles classic “Hotel California”, which album immortally skewered La La land cray-cray culture of the 1970s. Almost 50 years have passed! Now repurposed for California of the 2020s.
Further on, Dr. Malone writes:
EC, if you are reading this, it would probably be a peak moment of his life to hear from you…
“EC” is Dr. Malone’s code for Eric Clapton. In earlier discussions with Dr. Malone, who somehow knows Eric, I related how ecstatic I would be if Clapton would consider doing a cover of Hotel Paranoia.
Dr. Malone shared the song with Mikki Willis, filmmaker and author of Plandemic, who had this to say:
So accurate it’s funny. So accurate it’s scary!
Mark Crispin Miller, Professor of Media, Culture, and Communication at NYU, featured the song in his News from Underground newsletter, saying:
“Hotel Paranoia” (melody from 1977, lyrics from—and for—today)
Because of this massive blast of exposure (with links to this page) I’ve enjoyed a multitude of appreciative comments. See below…
Great lyrics and vocal performance. Would be nice to add background vocals and harmony, for even more Hotel California feel.
How can I be the only one commenting on this song??? This should have gone viral.
Thank you, ongho, for your assessment of virality. My imagiNed.com blog flies mostly under the radar. I don’t particularly promote it (yet) and I’m not on much social media (yet). I will be back on social media soon.
As for adding backing vocals and “Hotel California” harmonizing, I agree. My singer friend who performed the demo is working with a producer to get additional vocal tracks.
Wonderfully clever! Sounds great too. Thanks
You are most welcome, Claire.
My musician friend, who wished to remain anonymous, sang with intelligence and heart. The clever comes from keeping the same syllabic structure as the original, altering a minimal number of words, retaining the vowels in the replacement words… and then having the end result sound natural and not be gibberish.
Absolutely brilliant – sad it’s needed though
Excellent, right on spot, thank you. Cheers.
Brilliantly written and performed. Will share far and wide!
Thank you, Ravis, please do share.
Very good, Ned. Parodies are my (and DC Dave’s) specialty. I try to mimic the original singers, but I’m not very good.
I’ve even done one taken from The Eagles “Lyin’ Eyes” called “Bidenized”.
https://www.bitchute.com/video/BLxkZAGoYUSm/
Anything related to covid gets deleted at Youtube (https://www.youtube.com/user/ProductionsAbuse), but appears safe at Bitchute.
Check out “What a Miserable World”
https://www.bitchute.com/video/MgvzpRixe5sb/
Or one dedicated to Moderna called “Moderna” based from Tom Jones’ “Delilah”
https://www.bitchute.com/video/SfQMYWi3M4eb/
Or maybe “Vaccines” parody derived from Eric Clapton’s “Cocaine”:
https://www.bitchute.com/video/Az79ZJPTDpwe/
Thank you, BuelahMan, so good to hear from another parody writer. I will check out all the songs you linked and get back to you.
— update —
Wow, your parodies are fantastic, well written, smart. I especially liked Vaccines (Cocaine) and Moderna. “What a miserable world” broke my heart, but I feel like it was the most powerful and moving of all your songs.
Keep up the good work and keep me posted.
This is an excellent version. You have done outstanding craftsmanship of lyric substitution. If the Eagles are not brave enough to stand up for humanity, perhaps Weird Al Yankovic would do the honours. Regardless, your singer friend has done a great job too. 💜 from Australia (the USA’s other colony 🙄😒😭😞
Thank you, Trinity, for your appreciation of craftsmanship with the writing and singing. It’s my imagiNed fantasy that the Eagles would perform this version, but I’m not holding my breath.
And 50 years ago I thought the original lyrics were on the eerie side!
Little did I know.
Great adaptation and I love the somewhat strained, breathy voice of the singer…fits right in.
Thanks for creating this awesome version even if the subject matter is depressing.
I enjoyed it!
Good observation, Dana, about the “eerie” feel of the original lyrics. That same feel applies well to everything eerie about this pandemic.
It sure does and you recaptured it even more so with the “updated” lyrics.
Thanks to Dr. Malone for featuring your work!
WOW; this is fantastic! FYI, Dr. Robert Malone just featured this in his blog (that’s why I am here), so you are about to go viral, deservedly so 🙂
I am posting this on all my social media channels and I am sure many others reading his blog with do so as well.
Godspeed in your work!
Thank you, Norbert. I recently posted a few lines of the Hotel Paranoia lyrics as a comment on one of Dr. Malone’s articles. He contacted me yesterday about putting the song in his Sunday column. I’m blown away by Dr. Malone’s effusive praise. Yes, please share. I think it’s a well-crafted rewrite that echoes the dark energy of the original song.
Brilliant, even leaving some of the original lyrics works so beautifully.
Yes, Betty, using as many as possible of the original lyrics anchors this rewrite in the dark energy of the iconic original.
Bravo Ned! Well done and spot on!
Thank you! I hope and pray this does go “viral!” This is truly excellent! What an appropriate artistic expression of the Truth! May it open up the sleeping minds of otherwise “brain dead” Americans! Thank you for the hard work that this piece represents. I am looking forward to any and all versions that you may work on as “enhancements.” However, this “original” is just the best! Wake up America! The water is almost boiling! Walk the path of independent thought! Don’t allow consensus reality to be your “religion!” Just say’in.
Thank you, Marietta, for your appreciation of the message in this song. May it be well-heeded, as you suggest.
So clever! Thank you for sharing!
excellent… 😉
Excellent parody and right on target! Diehard Eagles fan here and I hope they hear it and love it, too.
Yes, Rose, my fantasy is that this parody would come to the attention of the Eagles.
Hotel C was one of my all time faves but I think that you have just replaced it. What a magnificent song and a treasure of a singer… both are certain to make this a zinger. Wishing you all much success and I suppose we have to say thanks for your recreation of the past couple of years of our lives. Best wishes…
Thank you, Cybermom. I was so fortunate to have a singer/musician friend sing the song so skillfully. Just reading the rewritten lyrics would have nowhere the same impact. Yes, Hotel Paranoia does encapsulate these last few years. Sigh.
Hey Ned – discovered your artistry and brilliant wit from Robert Malone’s shout out on the weekend. Love your vids and especially the parody. Kudos to your vocalist friend. Cheers from Vancouver Island…
Hey Dennis, cheers back to Vancouver Island. Thank you for liking my other videos as well. It’s a mixed bag of quips and concepts here at imagiNed.com. I’m please to have your appreciation.
Ned! You are so gifted. Great job. Bravo!
Excellent parody! Somehow this will rocket into public awareness during California’s next elections – watch for your chance to insert it somewhere, at an inspired moment…
Thanks!
Thank you, I like your suggestion about the inspired moment.
Thank you!
Brilliant lyrics. God bless you Ned! I will be sharing this as much as possible.
Thank you, Phil, much appreciated
Brilliant! I’m going to share!
Awesome arrangement, Ned! I agree some background vocals would be a great addition. Being from that generation of music, and now find myself among those fighting for our lives in the world. I find this a particularly important piece to share. I got this song via Robert Malone’s newsletter. I immediately shared it with some like-minded (I am blessed to have some!!!) friends and family. Thank you for this wonderful song!
Thank you, Phyliss, this demo version (with the karaoke backing track) was to give people (musicians) an idea of what the lyrics would sound like. I agree with you that the message is particularly important, so I put out a recording with the best production resources I could muster.
What a fantastic parody. Great singer and great lyrics for our day (sadly)
Thank you and I agree with the “sadly.”
Well done. I have linked it to a few sites.
I love it.
Thank you, Roman, much appreciated.
Thank you, Ned! Brilliant – a clever way to undermine the huge fear machine that has enslaved the masses of ignorant people! Thomas Jefferson said that freedom cannot coexist with ignorance. I feel sorry for people who still muzzle themselves and refuse to shake hands.
Cogent commentary, Joseph, I’m with you all the way.
Very appropriate
Dear Ned….absolutely wonderful!!! The beautiful way you put it together, the words, the sentences, so alike and flowing and the same eerie, uneasy feelings they produce. The singer brings that out beautifully! I am the mother of three daughters who were playing The Eagles loud and often and I started to love their music too. I still have tapes and records from them! You made a wonderful song into a much needed, strong and impressive message for our moment in time. I hope The Eagles will sing it! I found you on Dr. Malone’s site and I am grateful to him and to you!
Thank you, Hermine, for your heartfelt, appreciative comment. Even more, thank you for noticing how the composition creates a mood, an eerie atmosphere. Bless you and come visit this site often, I hope to continue to delight you.
Hope you don’t mind I laid a back up vocal track to this…
https://rumble.com/v1cnv6n-having-a-little-sunday-afternoon-fun….html
Wow, Aladay, I loved the embellishment and the evident pure fun you had singing along. Well done.
I’m humbled thank you….
Have a great day!!!!
Weird Al would be proud. Good job. May I post it on facebook?
“Weird Al” Yankovic is known for satirical humor in his parodies. I wanted Hotel Paranoia to be more thought-provoking than laugh-provoking. There is still humor there, but it comes from the characterizations being so spot-on. Yes, Janice, you may post on Facebook or anywhere. Thank you.
Oh Ned, this is GOLD! Often satire and humor gets the point across BEST! You NAILED it!
Thank you, Carolan, I agree that satire and humor, blended in the right proportions, are most effective.
Ned, I listened to your sensational song while I was flying at an altitude of 13,000 ft, I am sure the heavens heard it too !
That’s amazing! You, Sky Writer, must be a private pilot. I’m thrilled you were able to play the song while flying. (Is that what’s known as giving a song “air time?”)
……You, Ned, are too funny funny
oXo
I have been an Eagles fan since the 70’s and think your rewrite in the name of Medical Freedom is brilliant. Thank you for sharing your creativity. Dr. Malone has been one of my Medical Freedom Warriors throughout the scamdemic and for you to connect with him this way is truly awesome. Those of us who know Truth must keep speaking out and thus hopefully waking up others to what is really happening.
Thank you, Diana. Yes, I agree, I was awestruck when Dr. Malone offered to put Hotel Paranoia as the lead piece on his Sunday substack:
https://rwmalonemd.substack.com/p/sunday-strip-467
The exposure has given my obscure imagiNed.com site a big boost in visibility, my 15 minutes of fame, as it were.
I paint the skies with political messages like this one for Tommy Robinson when he was jailed in the UK, Renford Charles was the one behind the music.
Do you know all letters are done while flying upside down? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUlP16wTcYM
PS – I am STILL sharing your song on all my social media sites, people just love it, so keep up the good work !!!!!
Amazing work, Sky Writer, I took a screenshot of your skywriting video:
Brilliant Ned…
Thank you so much. Reposted it on fb.
WHAT A GREAT SONG! NED! I didn’t know this was your song! I heard it a while back and just got the email from you and Malone! WOW This is so great, you deserve this standing ovation. We can ALL relate to this horrible dystopia that’s happening, you captured it so well! Thank you for your work and for sharing your gift with the world. We love you NED! ~Soul Seekers at DARE To Be Different
💜 Serenity & Heather
Thank you, Serenity, for your enthusiastic response to the Hotel Paranoia song. I’ve shared it with different Soul Seekers at the DARE gatherings, so that’s likely where you heard it previously. I was the anonymous author for a while. I’m pleased that you can now make the connection. 💜